We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
