you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
