I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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