hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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