"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
