You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
