Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize