my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
