I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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