This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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