pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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