so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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