He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
