Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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