I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
