my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
a search helicopter?!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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