...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
being pregnant is like rehab
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
