I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
