DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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