you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
