im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
should my penis look like a turkey
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
