need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
smell my finger.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
