I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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