Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
