i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize