I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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