beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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