Screwed.edu
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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