Who wears a wallet chain?!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
