I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
