Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
