i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
