What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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