she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
whose ass print is on the piano?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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