also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Everything about him screamed your future.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
