I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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