Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
