garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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