my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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