Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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