whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
someone owes me an orgasm
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
