Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize