did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
