I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
