They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
