Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
