it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
