we have officially lost it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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