Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
