I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
