Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
