Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
