Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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