White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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