I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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