after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
