I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
