Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
