he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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