I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
