remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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