i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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