I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
