turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is Oprah even human
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
