its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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