Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
