She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
