So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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